Back in the Saddle!

Ok, some of you may have noticed I've been gone, and some may have guessed that the reason was because the newest member of our family has arrived.  You are correct!

Introducing Alexander Louis -

He is two months old now and I feel like I am just now getting my head above water.  FYI, babies are HARD work.  I wasn't able to even think about Dexter for the first month or so.  Now things are settling in and I've gotten to ride a few times.  Dexter has picked up right where we left off, maybe even a little better.  I on the other hand have completely forgotten how to ride.  I fall all over the place.  Poor Dexter tries to keep up, he stops or slows down every time I start to loose my balance.  It makes for quite an interesting ride. 

I've finally realized I won't be able to keep up my normal routine now that I have Alex.  I was hoping to find a day care open late enough that would still allow me to ride after work.  But reality has struck and a) there are not day cares open that late, and b) I realize that won't leave me much time to spend with Alex in the evening, and before he arrived I didn't really care about that, now I do.  I'm thinking I'll have the weekends and maybe one or 2 days a week I can swing it to go out and ride, not exactly the competition schedule I was working on last year (before I got pregnant), but we will have to make it work.  I am committed to continue riding as it is the only thing that makes me feel like me. 

Dexter meeting his new little brother.

A quick work on motherhood - I mentioned a few times my trepidation with becoming a mom before Alex arrived.  I've never felt like a mom nor have I had the desire to become one.  Everyone reassured me that I would magically fall in love with him as soon as he arrived.  This was not exactly true.  It is hard to love something that demands so much and returns so little regarding emotions.  I'm not saying I hated him, but I wasn't head over heals either.  For the first 6 weeks or so he was simply "my responsibility".  It was my job to keep him alive and happy.  I had a strong deidcation to him, but no emotional attachment.Then as he started to get a personality I started to bond a little more.  Now I do love him and enjoy the time we spend together.  I still enjoy my time away as well.  I don't feel defined as a mother, I am still me, I just now have an new characteristic to add to my identity.  Not sure why I felt compelled to add this to the blog, maybe because the "non"motherly are so under represented.  Everyone seems to think once you have a child you are a mom and that's it, that's all you want to talk about.  And I want to represent those who still want to be seen as an individual, not just "Alex's mom".

The "Horse Gene"

I know there are many of us out there who are the only ones obsessed with horses in our family.  A lucky few have grown up around them with their family, but it seems a lot of us got the horse bug and it never went away.  It makes me wonder where the "horse gene" gene comes from. 

Most little girls are fascinated by horses.  But for some of us, about the time our friends are packing away their "My Little Ponies" we are slipping on our jodphers or chaps.  Its not enough to read books and watch movies, we NEED to be around these animals, to touch, smell and just interact with them.  Even if it is walking around in a circle at the fair.But why, what compels us towards these animals?  As an adult I appreciate the incredible bond and trust that comes from working with such large animals, but was I that wise when I was 7?

For me, no one in my family ever rode horses or ever had the desire.  All I know is that when I was 7  I started to ask for riding lessons.  My mom said sure, but I'd have to give up tap/dance.  I don't remember thinking twice about it.  It was an easy decision for me.  I think my mom thought it might be a little girl phase, but it wasn't.  After 5 years of taking lessons in some lady's back yard my mom gave in and got me legit riding lessons and a horse.

And in all the years of watching me ride and compete the bug only bit my family once or twice.  My mom tried to take lessons when we switched barns, but only lasted a few times and always made me pick the horses feet.  Not because she's a pre-Madonna, I think she is just genuinly afraid of the size of the animal.  My brother rode my new horse once.... the day we got him.  And my dad bravely took a lesson once after we had my first horse for a while... My point is they all tried.... and still didn't get it.  So out of a family with no interest in horses how did I get obsessed? 

I don't remember the first time I ever rode a horse, I've been told it was a pony at a fair.  I was 4, he spooked, I fell off.  Not the best begining.  I do remember my first lesson.  It was on a 19 yr old Paso Fino, I was 7, all we did was walk.  But I got to steer and I was in control.  And I remember feeling so powerful and so free being on top of this huge animal and having it do exactly what I wanted.

And I know there are certain traits I have inherited that steer me towards Dressage, the need to be perftect and always have a clearly defined goal.  But my brother had those same traits and used them to become an Eagle Scout and later compete in rowing.  We have always been an animal freindly family (other than the horse we always had cats) but never an animal obsessed.... so what's my deal? our deal?

I don't really have an answer, I just find it facinating that so many of us come from families with no horse history.  And so many of us are deeply devoted and intrenched in the horse world.... so where does it come from??

My Kind of Maternity Pictures

First off, I've never understood the "maternity picture" thing.  Of course I've never understood the getting pregnant thing either, but that's my own issue.  I get the fact that its a magical time in your life that only lasts a few months so you want to capture it.  What I don't get is the fact that almost every maternity picture I see looks awkward and/or creepy.  And I know there are those out there with great pictures where the mom-to-be looks comfortable and the dad isn't doing something totally weird, but for every good one I've seen 4 bad ones.  Still family members seem to want to see pictures of me all fat and round and since they threatened to fly out and visit if they didn't get them I figured I'd comply.

So rather than just take the "I'm standing here , here's my big ol' stomach" against the wall picture that looks more like a mug shot, I drug the husband out to the barn and took some there.  Tell me what you think.

First the "good" ones. 

Is Dexter sniffing his brother-to-be or the treat I have in my left hand? You decide :)

The relatives got a huge kick of the second one and I admit it is super cute.  But if I'm being honest with myself I know Dexter is only going for the treat.

And some out-takes... its hard to get a horse to cooperate when he knows dinner is on the other side of the fence.

Yes, I get it, you're tall.

A good head rub makes it all worth it, plus all the treats.

So, overall I think not too bad.  I still look big and uncomfortable, but no akward husband (by the way, he has no interest in being in the photos... I've asked) or weird bare belly.  Just me doing what I do, hanging out with my horse.  They do still looked posed, but what can you do.... we were posing.

I thought about hopping on for a picture but thought that might be pushing it.  Don't need to stir up any controversy this far into it.  Maybe I'll take one of those later just for myself.