Let me start by warning you this post actually has nothing to do with horses, but instead it deals with another 4 "legged" member of my family - My 2003 Mini Cooper. But I'm finding my feelings for my Cooper are just as strong as my bonds to my horses so I deemed it appropriate for the blog.
I bought my Cooper brand new, actually ordered it from the factory. And I picked it up on my birthday. It was my first new car, designed exactly how I want it, bought with 100% of my money.... it was MY car.
In the last nine years of owning the Cooper we have lived in 3 states, worked 3 jobs with 2 different companies, bought 2 horses, married one man, moved an entire dining room set and hauled many other things no one would ever think a Mini could handle. When I get upset, or bored, and I don't have a horse to ride, I often drive. So during my equestrian hiatuses, me and Mini explored a lot of Missouri and Texas. We've even made it up the Colorado mountains in the winter for a ski weekend.
There have been a few bumps in the road, during a particularly nasty storm in Texas I underestimated a puddle and we ended up with a new engine. And after a long 12 hr shift I unfortunately dazed off and rear-ended a van resulting in a cracked bumper. The point being we have been through a lot together.
But, sadly, as of yesterday, my Mini is no longer mine.... As much fun as it was to drive and as great as it was on gas, 2-door Compact cars and rear-facing child restraints don't mix. There is just no room in the back seat, and if there was there would be no way to get Alex in, so as he outgrew his infant seat, we outgrew the Mini. And I am having a seriously hard time with this.
I know its just a car, but people say its just a horse too, right? This car had a lot of personality, it was cute, small, but tough and efficient. Maybe I'm having a hard time because the only other thing I've ever owned for that long is my cat (lets not even think about what will happen when she leaves me). Or maybe because I bought the Mini when I was single amdjust moved to a strange city all by myself so it was me and Mini against the world. Or maybe the act of having to get rid of my "single" car for a "family" car is reminding me once again how much Alex is erasing my old life.
I'm guessing a combination of all. And no resentment towards Alex, its not his fault. But as I try to cling onto the woman I was before I became a mom, getting rid of one of my possessions that I've used to define me for so long was a big blow. I'm not a Mini owner anymore.... I'm a sedan owner (no hate against sedans).
I'm not afraid to admit I get a little teary when I think about it. It really does feel like I sold my horse (maybe not quite as bad, but close). I've given a dear friend to a relative stranger and can only hope they will treat him as well as I have. But unlike horses people would think you are crazy to call and check up on your old car. Plus I traded it in, so who knows who will end up with it.
But, what am I so upset about.... its only a car right?